“Another Sleepless Night”

            I laid awake in bed tonight unable to sleep. Flooding my mind were painful thoughts and images that I have experienced. As a Christian, I understand that there will always be suffering and pain in the world until the return of Christ. However, this knowledge is not comforting me to sleep tonight. I am so blessed in my life. I have a wonderful wife who loves me and who is always there for me. Though difficult at times, I have a great job that gives me the opportunity to make differences in people’s lives. I have a caring family. I have the promise of God through Christ Jesus. I have brothers and sisters in Christ that have done so much for me and who continue to surprise me with their generosity. I am truly blessed.

            With all this being said, why am I robbed of sleep tonight? I am a nurse in an intensive care unit where many of our patients pass away. We deal with a lot of cancers and abnormal lung diseases that are many times fatal. Sometimes we try to get people stable enough so that they are able to go home on hospice and spend the last few days of their lives in the comfort of their family. These memories are why I’m writing right now with tears in my eyes. I remember a young man in his 20s who suffered from cystic fibrosis who was coming to the end of his life. He fought for every breath. He could barely talk, but whenever I did even the most trivial thing for him, he forced out in a weak breath the words, “Thank you.” He did this every time. He needed new lungs. I fought many nights to help keep him alive until he was taken off of the transplant list and all hope was lost. I was there with his family the entire time. This is just one of many painful stories. I have watched young individuals pass leaving behind spouses and young children to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives. I have seen grandmothers and grandfathers who had the entire family at their side when they passed and was able to see the impact that their lives had on their friends and relatives. I understand why Christ was brought to tears in John 11 when he watched the people mourning the death of Lazarus. Even though these experiences are very painful at times, they too have been blessings in my life.

            It is easy in these fast times, where everything had to be done yesterday, to only focus inwardly. It’s like only staring 20 feet directly in front of you when you’re driving. You miss all the world around you and what is coming down the road. Christ said in Matthew 5:14-16, “ You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see you good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Sometimes we miss the people around us who need us. We miss their cry for help. We miss the need that is staring us in the face. Lets take time to step out of our lives to show the kindness and love that was given to us in Christ Jesus. He was truly the suffering servant that is described in Isaiah 53. “He borne our griefs and carried our sorrows” (v. 4). He is our example in sacrifice. As Paul writes in Romans 12:15, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Also, as John writes in 1 John 3:16, “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.”